My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
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Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
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Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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