how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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