I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize