its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
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The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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