I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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