I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Randomize