What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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