I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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