if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize