Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
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