ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize