The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
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Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
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One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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