omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize