The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize