he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Just pee around me
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize