Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NoShamevember. You game?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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