Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
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I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
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He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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