im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
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I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
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How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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