apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize