guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize