Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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