I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
P.S. I can't hear my feet
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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