and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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