I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
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I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
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I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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