so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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