College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
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Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
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Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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