Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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