So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
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what is it with giant penises always finding me
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
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Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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