I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Randomize