whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize