I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Shame - the story of my life.
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