This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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