I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize