Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize