you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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