So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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