i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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