i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize