In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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