I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
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Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
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I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
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