A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
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