1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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