Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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