were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
did you just send me my own nude
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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