Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize