You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
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She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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