i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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