I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize