no, he came in my armpit
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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