Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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